In Nigeria and by extension Africa, the family is a crucial part of the society. Unlike the western world, when we say family here, we mean the nuclear family, the many cousins and nephews, the grandparents, grand aunts, second, third and fourth cousins and every other person remotely related to us.
In fact, for someone who does not visit home frequently, recognizing some members of your family would be a struggle.
Virtually all tribes in Nigeria for example adopt this kinship family system. The family is much more than the nuclear enclave; it extends its tentacles far and wide.
In the US for example, as per Census.gov, in 2020, nuclear family households made up 71% of families. In Nigeria on the other hand, the average size of households was 5.06 members.
As per Statista, families of more than 8 members accounted for 15% of households. The African family is a big and complex one.
Dependents
Unlike the West, a “successful” Nigerian rarely just goes about building his empire. You don’t want to be labelled the selfish and stingy one who has found wealth and abandoned those that “toiled” with and for him.
While growing up in a typical Nigerian home, it is not uncommon to have several uncles and aunties visit. It is not uncommon also for parents to take care of their feeding and schooling needs should they decide to stay permanently; a decision left for the dependent to take.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the present Nigerian family system creates a high number of dependents. By definition, these are people who for some reason or another cannot take care of their economic responsibilities and must be catered for by others.
In Nigeria, the average depency per working age person is 0.97 with figures as high as 1.4 in Jigawa state. This is as per Statista. This means that the average Nigerian worker has at least one dependent.
In a country where households spend on average 59% of their income on food, adding an extra mouth or catering for one more person could prove more difficult than initially anticipated.
The spike in the prices of food further aggravates the problem and may transform a helper to one who would indeed be in need of help.
Present economic realities
Many would agree with me that some few years ago, it was relatively easier to assist people than it is these days. With Nigerian inflation hitting 28.92%, the Naira plummeting to around N1400/$, doubling of electricity tariff and petrol being sold for around N660/litre, erstwhile help givers have found themselves in need of help.
To put the present economic situation in tangible context, imagine a university lecturer who receives N200,000 as basic salary. Some few years ago, when a bag of rice was around N16,000 and a bag of beans N15,000, he could budget half of his salary for feeding his family of six.
Fast forward to today, a bag of rice retails for around N77,000 and beans for N70,000. Our lecturer here would now struggle to properly feed his family.
Needless to mention that he must also fuel his car, buy expensive foreign items all from his meagre N200,000.
What then happens to dependents that wait for handouts from him on a monthly basis? With this new economic realities, and financial burdens, he finds himself in a precarious situation. While he may not stop being of assistance, he may soon find out that extra financial burdens are to his financial detriment.
Is it possible to turn a blind eye to family demands?
This is a tricky question. For many, it may be possible to escape these demands but it depends on the very nature of these demands. For example, demands for upkeep could be easily overlooked but demand for school registration that may end up closing in a few days would be very difficult to overlook.
Health challenges and overseas travel also fall into this category
As a financial expert, I have had clients in the past who have faced such dilemmas and in most cases they are forced to take financial decisions that are otherwise poor in a bid to salvage the situation. Imagine a distress call for ransom payment to kidnappers. Some people have gone as far as selling appreciating assets like lands just to save their loved ones.
As I said at the beginning of this section, it is indeed a tricky question.
Biting the hands that fed you
Universally, humans tend to reciprocate. Once we have been given something in the past, we tend to give back the same measure or more in the future.
Reciprocity in the context of attending to family demands may involve catering for the education of extended family members since yours was also catered to by an extended member. Accommodating an extended family member for what may easily linger from a few short days to years is also in the books.
How to properly budget for these demands
- Create monthly allocations: Consider allocating a portion of your income for assistance each month. You can do this by drafting a budget that would help you stay on track no matter how sporadic the demands may be.Here is a practical example, if you earn N500,000 per month, you may set aside 10% of this for this purpose. This would amount to N50,000 every month for sorting out family issues.
- Offer assistance in batches: Undoubtedly, one of the problems that people face is the impulsive and unpredictable nature of these demands. They may far exceed the allocation set aside for this purpose. One way to go about this is rendering help in batches. For example, if a problem arises and it would need N100,000 to solve, you may offer assistance of N50,000 in a two month period.
- Blatantly decline demands that pose financial risks: What if you a financial demand comes up that far exceeds your financial capabilities? Or a demand that would most likely put your finances in jeopardy. In these cases, you may need to make a decision that serves your best interest. For example, if solving the problem would require you to deplete your emergency fund, it is best to avoid and openly decline it. It is one thing for a financial problem to arise, and it is another to impoverish oneself in an attempt to help another.