Technical professionals who are astute understand that relationship skills and technical skills are not mutually exclusive and that improving relationship skills is one of the best ways to boost their overall competitiveness and quicken their career trajectory.
Too many technical professionals must deal with a cruel irony at some point in their careers. They’ve worked arduously for years to earn technical certifications and advanced technical degrees only to learn later in their careers that technical skills alone will only get them so far, and perhaps relationship skills become much more crucial as they rise up the hierarchy and start managing larger, more diverse teams. The uncomfortable truth is that they might not be able to advance to higher levels of leadership responsibility with the hard-core technical skills that got them there.
We’ve all witnessed the scenario where the top developer is promoted to team lead and ends up being a complete failure because managing a team requires entirely different skill sets than programming. The developer must now rely on relationship skills and emotional intelligence to connect with team members, resolve conflicts, coach and support direct reports, etc. on a daily basis, even though technical skills are still crucial. Since he/she is now in charge of a team of workers who are devoted to performing the technical work, she will probably need to use her interpersonal abilities more than her technical ones.
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Here are five suggestions:
Assess your strengths and weaknesses
The first and most important step in developing a more well-rounded, balanced leadership style is to honestly assess and better understand how each person is wired (e.g., by personality type or work style). Two of the many widely used assessment tools that can assist professionals in better understanding their unique styles are the DiSC Profile and StrengthsFinder. These tools can help identify areas where and how you may need intentional development.
Although reading books and taking classes can be beneficial, observing someone at work is one of the best ways to develop your relationship skills. Most of us are familiar with someone who possesses strong social and relationship skills naturally. Actively look for someone who can “mentor” you, perhaps not formally but more casually.
Include a relationship-building component in meeting agendas
Teams regularly connect and work together during meetings. While some attendees will naturally mingle at the start of a meeting, others who aren’t as gregarious may have a tendency to jump right into business, missing an important opportunity to forge or maintain an authentic connection. It is a good idea to include a relationship-building component in the actual agenda as a reminder to not only focus on tasks for someone who lives by them.
Starting meetings with inventive introductions is one way to achieve this. Each participant would share a unique personal fact with the group during introductions (e.g, proudest personal achievement, etc.). Although it doesn’t take much time, it can frequently produce chances for genuine connection.
Develop the habit of listening to understand instead of listening to respond
When we actively and consistently tune into what others are saying, we lay a solid foundation for authentic relationship building.
The need to be heard is one of our most fundamental social-emotional needs, and being heard often leads to genuine connection. Unfortunately, the majority of us mistakenly do the latter for the former because we are unaware of the significant differences between listening and waiting to speak. When we’re focused on responding to someone’s remarks, we don’t really listen to their perspective and point of view.
Conduct in-person kickoff meetings when possible
In-person team or project kickoff meetings are an excellent opportunity to establish connections and relationships that team members can leverage for months, if not years, to come. Ensure that the kickoff meeting includes both formal and informal team-building elements in order for it to be engaging and interesting rather than boring and dry. When done correctly, the kickoff meeting can reveal genuine points of commonality, making relationship building much easier and less forced.
As workplaces strive to become more inclusive and supportive, technical managers are increasingly expected to take on the role of coach and cheerleader, which necessitates strong interpersonal skills. Strong relationship skills do not develop overnight, but with small and deliberate strategies, you can learn to strengthen that relationship muscle.
