While Valentine’s day is marked worldwide as a day for lovers, Nigerians seem to have taken it to an extreme. Failing to take a significant other out, or buying a present, is a sure recipe for an argument. The excuse of having no money does not hold water: How do you explain being broke on Valentine’s day, of all days?
Back in the day, people used to pick quarrels. Babes have coded now. So quarrels can be on the day or the day after. Not before.
There are two ladies I am considering: Regular babe and then there’s Slay babe.
Regular babe, rarely asks for anything, which means you have to deliver without being told. Regular babe leaves close by, so that lowers my cost. I also get to sleep early and prepare for work the next day.
Slay babe is a bit more demanding, but more fun. She lives in Yaba which makes things more expensive. Asides that I may end up getting home at midnight, which leaves me tired at work the next day.
I could decide to call in sick, but that’s also expensive. Sick means I am at home. That means either Regular babe or Slay babe comes to visit. That is also expensive. God forbid, the two of them show up at the same time.
I could also decide to switch off my phone, but that means I would be cut off from the world. I suspect my gate man has been taking tips from Slay babe, but that’s a story for another day.
I am confused as to who to go with, but here is an estimate of how much Val’s day outing with each lady will cost. This is based on what I’ve spent on previous outings with both ladies (Yes I keep receipts. Is it not my money?)
Valentine with Regular babe
Dinner at a nice eatery for both of us ₦ 10,000
Cab from Ajah to pick her at VGC ₦ 1000
Cab from her place in VGC to Lekki Phase 1 ₦ 2500
Red Velvet Cake ₦10,000
Bottle of wine ₦3,000
Cab to drop her off at home after dinner ₦ 3000
Cab to take me home from VGC to Ajah ₦ 1000
Total expense ₦42,500.
Valentine with Slay babe
3D Cinema tickets for two ₦ 7000
Finger food for two at Lighthouse grill ₦ 15,000
Cab from Ajah to Yaba to pick Slay Babe ₦ 4000
Cab from Yaba to Lekki Phase 1 ₦ 2500
Cab from Lekki Phase 1 back to Yaba to drop Slay Babe ₦ 4500
Cab from Lekki Phase 1 back to Ajah ₦ 5000
Gift bag (Perfume plus chocolate ₦ 35,000
Fruit basket ₦ 10,000
Total expense ₦83,000
So who should I go with?