One of Nigeria’s most celebrated actors, Genevieve Nnaji, generated quite the buzz last year when she announced that Netflix had acquired content rights to her latest film – Lionheart. Many were quick to conclude that the film must be superb, to have attracted Netflix’s attention.
Well, while it is not a completely wasted effort, there are a lot of things that are wrong with the story line. Ms Nnaji had gone for something different, telling a corporate story about a struggling transportation company at the brink of failure. She, however, failed to properly research the workings of the corporate environment prior to making the film. And now, the corporate guys are noticing all these errors and speaking up about them.
Here is an actual banker’s appraisal of the “highly-acclaimed” film. You may consider not reading further if you haven’t seen Lionheart and plan to do so anytime soon.
Lion Heart, The movie that should never have been made
So, I’m just going to tell you right off the bat that this movie isn’t worth your time. There you go, I just saved you 90 minutes of cringe. You’re welcome.
I’m gonna start with what I liked about the film. The camera work and cinematography were done well and I liked the extensive use of depth of field to blur out the background objects. Also, the movie will be more appreciated by Igbo people for obvious reasons.
Now let’s get to the nitty-gritty, starting with the inaccuracies. Firstly, companies hire auditors to audit their books. So, in essence the auditors work for you (that’s how they get paid after all), and not the other way round. But Lionheart’s auditors come from an alternate reality world where Lionheart works for them and they even come to give a notice to pay down. For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s only banks and/or bank’s legal solicitors that issue demand notices to debtors. And this is always done in a written format, not verbal.
A CEO cannot borrow from any bank without the board’s approval. So, that entire plot line is a joke. The only way he can borrow without the board’s knowledge is if he’s borrowing the money for personal use. But that’s not the case here.
No bank will grant you a loan based on the promise of a contract. Instead, the contract must be awarded first and sealed. Banks usually go through the terms and conditions of the contract before determining if it’s going to be worth financing.
There is the glorification of morning devotion which I think should be banned in offices. Offices are not places of worship. And it is unprofessional to use the company’s time to be screaming early in the morning inside a corporate environment.
By the way, what sort of expertise does the uncle from the village have, that he had to be invited to run/oversee a multi billion naira company on a whim?
One of the bankers they meet with is wearing a tux at work. Who does that?!
No bank manager will ever proposition a customer who comes to ask for a loan openly in the presence of the customer’s colleague. That could earn him a swift dismissal if reported. Apart from that, a branch manager does not have the authority to approve the amount of loan they are asking for. In fact, most loans are not granted at branch level and usually go through a series of departments for approvals. Also, the company is a debtor and they are going to appear on the various credit bureau portals for having past due obligation with several banks. As such, no bank will touch them with a 10 foot pole.
Have the makers of this film actually ever been to a police station before? You don’t just run into a police station and right into the cell area while yelling on top of your voice. Police stations have gate and you’ll be searched (or not, depending on which one you go to) and after that you’ll be allowed to say who you’re looking for. People coming to bail people also don’t rush out of the car like ‘lunatics’. Also police people don’t beg people at their own office.
PS: Don’t be fooled, rich people don’t know what a police station looks like in Nigeria. That’s probably why they didn’t bother doing their research on that. In reality, the bank manager would lose his job for being a horny dog while the rich people will scurry back to their office without having any police involved. But this is Nigeria and they had to dramatise it. #EpicFail
And what in the world is Peter Okoye doing there? Cheap thirst trap maybe? He needs to hit the gym by the way; he’s not all that anymore.
Can we talk about that secretary for a second! I’ve been to many offices and never have I seen a tea girl so enthusiastic, happy and cheerful about serving tea.
After watching this movie, I came to one conclusion:
Nobody cared to do research on any of the plot lines they used. They don’t know how bankers dress or even conduct themselves, they don’t know how loans work, they don’t know how mergers work, they don’t even know how police stations work.
Netflix should seriously hire someone competent enough to screen shovelware shows from their platform.
Other notable mentions:
- Nkem Owo was mostly annoying and over-dramatic.
- Genevieve wore different dark green dresses for 70% of the movie, I don’t know what’s up with that.
- There was no prior appointment before meeting the Hausa man in the north for such an important discussion like that.
- All the characters were flat and poorly developed, they were all shallow and one sided. But then again I wouldn’t blame them because the movie doesn’t really have a plot.
- That dude(don’t know or care about his name) in the board could’ve used a lip gloss
- Phyno was just as irrelevant as Peter Okoye.
- Forced and cringy jokes/comedy.
- Pete Edochie’s performance was the best, but then again when you’re acting (or at least pretending to) alongside people like Genevieve, you’ll be the best in everything.
This article was written by Mazeli Mbanefo, with contributions by Emmanuel Abara Benson. Mbanefo is a Relationship Manager at one of Nigeria’s many banks.