The number one reason why you exist on the planet is not just to survive but to achieve a worthwhile goal. This goal can be your mission, your purpose, or your assignment for which financial freedom is part of it. But to achieve this goal, you need the help of other people. Success can begin with your own strength but to create lasting wealth you need the help of other people. Thus, you need the help of other people to achieve your goals in the same way that other people need your help to achieve their goals. And the only way to give or get help is through the act of giving.
Giving is the act of assisting, supporting, or helping others achieve their goals. And giving is essential for financial success. Yet not all giving leads to financial freedom. In fact, certain kinds of giving lead to financial bondage. Thus, the way and manner you give will determine whether you achieve success or failure.
There are two kinds of giving. The first is Cheerful giving and the second is Resentful giving. Cheerful giving is giving that help others achieve their worthwhile goals with resources that you are willing to invest, let go or do without. It is called Cheerful giving because this kind of giving creates fulfilment. It is giving that gives you the opportunity to participate in the advancement of someone’s destiny. And it is also aligned with the way we naturally want to give. We all agree that each of us needs help to achieve a worthwhile goal thus we are more open to this kind of help.
Resentful giving in contrast is giving that is focused on helping people survive. It is targeted at people who for some reason cannot survive on their own. It is called resentful giving because it creates frustration in the giver. We all agree that everyone at the minimum should be able to take care of their own basic needs. Thus, resentful giving makes you do for others what they should be doing for themselves. In doing this you postpone your own goals and put yourself in a more fragile financial position. Worst of all is that this kind of giving does not produce any real growth or advancement in the receiver. Receivers become perpetually dependent on you and as a giver, you lose the reward for giving. The only giving that will get a reward is giving that is done cheerfully. Giving done under compulsion or with a grudge, wastes valuable resources. Yet this kind of giving is what is most common among the middle-class.
The typical middle-class family is littered with this kind of giving as there are more dependents than providers of breadwinners. We encourage it in our families and cajole or manipulate people to do it just to gain favour with other family members. In fact, our parents are a perfect example of this kind of giving and where this kind of giving can lead you to at the end of your career. If you do not want to end up in the same place as your parents, you must elevate the standard of your giving beyond that or your parents. Resentful giving does not only delay your financial success, but it also funds and incentivizes irresponsible behaviors, Laziness, and entitlement in the family. The best way to give is to give cheerfully.
So, what is Cheerful giving and how does one give cheerfully when resources are limited, and receivers are plenty?
The answer is simple.
Cheerful giving is giving that is targeted at helping others achieve a worthwhile goal. It is the kind of giving targeted at people that you have qualified and vetted to be deserving of your help.
To give cheerfully, you must do Four things well.
First, you must be a good receiver. Second, you must give in the right order. Third, you must give for the right purpose. And fourth, you must expand your giving beyond money.
Let’s look at each of these components in detail.
Be a good receiver
One of the reasons why people suffer financially is because they are good givers but very poor receivers. To give cheerfully, you must experience cheerful giving yourself. Being a good receiver is about allowing others to give to you. When you experience giving yourself, giving to others becomes second nature. The true essence of giving is not to alleviate poverty or help people survive. But to help people achieve their worthwhile goals. And if you still have big goals to achieve then being a good receiver is the only way to achieve it. Being a good receiver enable other people to invest in your dreams. And this is the only way to turn the act of giving from a one-way unfair situation to a win-win situation that serves you.
So how do you become a good receiver?
To become a good receiver, you need to form upward relationships with high achievers and members of the upper-class. Forming upward relationships is different from forming downward relationships. And both require different skills. While downward relationships are easy to form and can be managed using money. Upward relationships require certain discipline, high standards and protocols that must be adhered to. Also, money is not the major means of helping your upward relationships. Upward relationships need help with the things that money cannot buy and those things that can produce or buy more money. Thus, you need to become a certain kind of person to succeed with your upward relationships. But until you become this person that is magnetic to upward relationships. You would only be giving to others, and they would be nobody to give to you.
Give in the right order
There is a way to give that leads to financial freedom and there is also a way to give that leads to financial bondage. Giving that leads to financial freedom follows the God order stated in the bible. And giving that leads to financial bondage follows another order called Society or Family order. The God’s Order states that you are to Give to God First. Even God does not require sacrificial giving from you; he only requires 10% of your income. Next, you are to Give to Yourself. You can only give to others after you have first given to yourself. And the third is to then give to Others. Thus, the only way to give cheerfully is to follow the God order. The Society Order states that you should first give to God. So, both orders agree on who should be given to first. Even though society still makes giving to God optional. The second person society recommends that you give to is others. And they recommend that you give sacrificially here. And then whatever is left you can then give to yourself. Little wonder society is broken. If you follow society’s order of giving you can never achieve financial freedom or practice cheerful giving.
Give for the right purpose
There are only two purposes for giving – The first purpose is to fund the independence of the receiver and the second purpose is to fund the dependence of the receiver. Independent giving is giving that is focused on helping others achieve a worthwhile goal. Goals that create wealth, increase opportunities, open doors, or make the receiver financially independent. Dependent giving is giving that is targeted at helping people survive or meet basic needs. This kind of giving does not produce any tangible result. To achieve financial freedom with speed you must do more independent giving than dependent giving. You must also find high achievers and invest in them. And then you must extend your giving beyond just family members. Investing in family members alone is a sure path to regrets as you do not have all the smart people in your family alone. Thus, your purpose for giving should be to advance human life in general, better your own life in the process, and make the world a better place.
Expand your giving beyond money
There is only one reason why giving to the lower class leads to financial struggle – it is because most people hinge their giving solely on money. Yet giving at any level can transcend beyond money. But you can only elevate your giving beyond money when you create other currencies that you can give beyond money. The fastest way to create a rich bag of currencies is to form relationships with high achievers and members of the upper-class.
When you develop a rich relationship network there are a whole lot of problems you can solve for people without using your money. If you are ever going to achieve financial freedom you must create options for giving other than money.
I think the subtle point I am trying to make in today’s article is this- Your giving should not force you into poverty at the end of your career as it did your parents. If you give the right way you would achieve financial freedom otherwise you would fail.
Perhaps you need help giving and receiving more intelligently, forming richer relationships, and achieving financial freedom. We can help you. Send an email to [email protected]
About the author
Grace O. Agada is the most sought-after Financial Planning expert in Nigeria. She is a renowned Author, Financial Expert and Keynote Speaker. Grace is Popularly known as the Predictable Financial Freedom Advisor and Her goal is to help working professionals escape middle-class poverty and transition to the upper class. Grace is the Author of three books and possibly the most widely read financial articles. Her articles are spread across seven national newspapers and four of the most popular Nigerian Blogs. Grace is also the Founder of the University of Wealth, The Rich Retirement Bootcamp, and the Wealthy Business MBA Program. Grace has been featured on BBC Africa. Business Day TV. Inspiration FM. and inside Naijatv. And she consults for Numerous Top Organizations, Company Directors, CEOs, Senior Executives, and High-Income Professionals.