Your wife is worth N32.7m a year!!!

It’s valentine day and the whole city is buzzing. From a male perspective today is a day to show our better half how we truly love them. Most times doing this involves spending huge sums of money on gifts, flowers, dinners etc. For all you know there is indeed a direct relationship between a how you value your wife and how deep your pocket is. Meaning if you value your wife pretty high there is every tendency for you to spend more. But then what truly is the worth of a woman? Forget the cliche of “a woman is worth more than diamond” or “a woman is priceless” blah blah blah. There is gotta be a monetary value attached to it. It’s even ironic that our forefathers thought of it this way that they put a bride price on their daughters.

How then do I estimate a woman worth on say a yearly basis? To do this you will have to think like you’re from Mars. Hence I will base my estimates on the following questions;

1. How much would you have paid for her to be pregnant for you and get you a baby?
2. How much would you have paid her to raise your children from infant till they are 18?
3. How much would she charge you were to pay her for love making at your beck and call?
4. What is the present value of all the future earnings she will receive as a salary earner?
5. How much will you pay her for cooking for you and keeping your house hold in order?
Are there anymore I’m missing? Guess I’d just stick with these for now!
My estimate reveals an astonishing N32.7m per year!!!! Wanna know how? Here it is;

1. How much would you have paid her to be pregnant for you and eventually deliver a baby?

Likely response- this would have been a difficult task but thanks to advanced scientific research it now very possible. You have to then look a how much it cost to have a baby through surrogates. According to this website http://people.whatitcosts.com/surrogate.htm it cost approximately $100k to have a child through surrogate means. So if we use half of that it comes to $50k or roughly N7.5m. Considering that it typically takes 9 months to have a baby we will have to assume that this is done per year. Therefore it will probably cost you N7.5m per year.

How much would you have paid her to raise a child from infant till 18?

Likely value- This is a bit dicey so I might have to be a little subjective. A nanny in Nigeria earns an average of N15k every month. Nanny’s are usually needed for at least the first 7 years of a child. Considering your wife is highly educated this should cost you at least 60% more roughly N24k, which multiplied by 12 gives you N288k per annum.

How much would she charge you were to pay her for love making at your beck and call?

Likely outcome – this is a touchy question, I know, but remember your to think like your from Mars not earth. Sex typically cost around N20k a night in Lagos (so I heard). Love making being a harder task than sex and with a higher value would probably cost twice that amount. Assume men make love 3 times a week for a calendar year it comes to about N7.8m per annum. Hmmmmm.

What is the present value of all the future earnings she will receive as a salary earner?

Likely outcome- Present Value is the value of all future earnings today and at today’s cost. A woman will like men work for an average of 35years. If 5 years of that period she was single then we assume the remaining 30 years of her working life she was married to you. On an average she earns N300,000 per month through out the 30 years which gives you N126m for the 30 years. If we discount that with today’s inflation rate of 12% it comes to N28.9m or about N30m in today’s value. Assume that you get a third of that as her contribution to the house hold income, it gives you N10m per year.

How much will you pay her for cooking for you and keeping your house hold in order

Likely Outcome – What will you pay a chef and a house keeper? A wife does both excellently well. An average 4 star hotel chef will earn about $4,000 a month or N600k a month. A year that’s about N7.2m. So a wife who does both is probably worth that much for her cooking and house keeping abilities.

Adding everything up gives us approximately N32.78m a year.

What do you think? Ahhh….I’m just messing around folks as this sounds illogical at best and out of this world (which is why I implore you to think like your from another planet) but then it’s a plausible view point. So if your considering the cheapest Val gift for your wife, think again…..she’s worth at least N33m which you simply never get to pay for.