Money revolves around all aspects of human endeavours and is a necessary modality to consider when going into a romantic relationship that will probably lead to marriage. The possibility of becoming husband and wife, therefore, necessitates talks about views of this very sensitive aspect of their lives.
I will advise that money questions in a relationship talk be treated with all the seriousness it deserves. Your ability to build a formidable financial position in your marriage is a commendable landmark achievement; a real direction to follow.
Below are a few financial topics you must ask about in your relationship talk with an intended partner:
Debt Status: This involves any money being owed by each of the party. Enquiring into the debt status of your would-be spouse is not too much of a question to ask. It’s expected that you should know because once you both are married, it becomes a shared liability, so it is always good to stay safe.
Different people have different approaches and perceptions about money. It therefore depends on the parties involved to be at least transparent in dealing with their debt status.
Some persons will simply walk away once they find out that their partners have huge debt profiles, but as the saying goes, it’s better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage. Do not lie about your debt status as it could save you a lot of stress in the future.
Credit Status: This refers to money under your control; how rich you are financially, if I must say. Individual credit status is a question to be asked. The essence of this question does not particularly imply that your partner is being materialistic. Rather, it should be appreciated that everyone desires to have a secure financial future; nobody wants to live without enough funds to cater for future demands.
A good relationship talk which gives insight into this status, will, in turn, save the marriage unnecessary hassles in the long run. Whichever way you choose to look at it, it feels good and safe to have guaranteed financial days ahead. If your would-be partner backs out after the talk, it would be obvious that your credit status does not match their dreams and aspirations and that’s their own opinion. You should not get bitter about that because they might have saved you from future heartache.
Spending plan/budget: Enquiry into the supposed spending plan of your partner should not be seen as being nosey. People have different perceptions when it involves budgeting and planning, ask about their spending plan if you really care and expect a balanced financial future.
A spending plan categorically shows how one intends to use his/her money and what they’ll probably spend it on to achieve set financial objectives. You will understand if your partner is conscious of spending within his/her means; this must occupy an important space in your discussion.
Showing this concern will likely speed up bonding between you, marriage plans could even be announced faster. That’s the power of taking ownership and addressing money spending decisions.
Next of kin: Questions about next of kin is very important, gone are the days when you attribute love as being blind, expecting that everything would fall into place naturally. What does next of kin have to do with relationship talk and money? My dear, it has everything to do with your romantic relationship.
A next of kin is your closest relative who you choose to be contacted in cases of emergency. In most cases, he/she is deemed as the beneficiary of your estate in the event of death, especially if you leave no will that states otherwise. This means that usually, in case of the unexpected, only these ones have the rights to reclaim your belongings (materially and financially).
This kind of money question should be asked with wisdom to avoid having the other party feel insecure. No one feels comfortable answering next of kin questions in a relationship, but you must talk about it. The sincerity with which they answer this question will suggest if actually they can be transparent with you in financial dealings.
A man may have any of his brothers or parents as next of kin while single, but this status is expected to change once he gets married, likewise the woman. Next of kin change is applicable to both parties and should be done with mutual love. If this point cannot be agreed on for whatever reason, it’s a red flag that all may not be well in the coming marriage. Both of you are expected to be each other’s next of kin, though things could take different shapes when you start having babies.
Note that asking this question must not be on the altar of exploitation of any kind, otherwise the aim is defeated.
Involving money in a relationship talk is paramount to the success of any future union. Mutual understanding established prior to marriage will help overcome marital difficulties with ease when they eventually arise. Be honest with your partner while having your discussion, as it can make or mar your marriage thereafter. However, here’s wishing you a happy married life in advance.
Orji Raphael is a dynamic writer with vast knowledge in Banking, personal finance, entrepreneurial development, counsellor and a motivational speaking.